Happy Birthday to my gorgeous sister <3 Love her so dam much! <3

Best Day of 2013

A few days ago was one of the happiest days in my life. It was my crush's Birthday. She did a pool party at her house and me & my sister, Farah, were invited. It was on June 30 Sunday. She told me about it around a week before and I was excited to go. I started planning out before a week what should I do if I go, Should I say anything? Should I show her that I still love her? or should I show her that I moved on? Those questions kept circling through my mind until before I knew it, it was Sunday. The party starts at 3:00 PM so me and my sister woke up and bought her some cloth. A nice short with a matching top. We got our relative to drive us to her house and even before we were dear, I was so nervous...


Once we got there, Karen came out and opened the door for us. She huged my sister and said Hey to me. So automatically I said hey back. After that short encounter, we went inside her house to the backyard where there were kids already around. We sat there with the other kids while Karen kept opening the door for the new guests. I was basically nervous the whole time but I just couldn't let my self show it. Most people that were there already knew I had a crush on Karen but what the hell, It really didn't matter to me...

So after everyone finally was here, Karen brought us some snacks and then she said it's swimming time. We all changed our clothes and jumped in the pool. The first few minutes it was awkward but then we started spraying each other water and the fun started. After a bit, Karen propesed we play the game where at one person gets on another and tries to push down another group of 2 that did the same. I over heard the girls telling Karen to go on top of me but she neglected and didn't want. Honestly I didn't want either because I don't know... So at the end of the argueing some other girl got on top of me and Karen on another guy and they started pushing each other hahaha. To my bad luck, Karen ended up winning againt us but it was all good. Atleast we had fun right?

So after a while, we all got out and washed off with our towels. In the mean time, Karen's mom brought food on a table and the cake :)





Karen's Birthday Cake <3 She was turning 15 (:

 We all got around Karen and started singing her Happy Birthday :) To me, that was one of the most unforgettable moments in my life. I'll always remember seeing that smile across her face when everyone was singing and she was looking around all happy. All I could say is that, at that very moment, everything was PERFECT.


 After we finished singing her Happy Birthday, we all sat down and ate cake & other desserts. I have to say it was a really delicious cake(: . So when we all finished eating, Karen told us to play Truth & Dare and we all went along with it since she was the Birthday Girl on that day. We all sat in a circle, girls on one side and guys on the other side. So the game started and as usual, the first questions in the game are always boring. Such as "What's your favorite color" or "What's your name". After a while the game started to spice up with questions like "Kiss all the guys on their cheeks" and "Dance on the table". Before I knew it, it was my turn! A girl asked me truth or dare so I went with the truth. She asked me "Who's your crush?"




*At that very moment, my heart skipped a beat. It was like time suddenly froze around me. I thought hard about what I had to say because this was the moment Karen would know if I still loved her or not... I had a few choices... Like... "I don't have a crush on anyone" - "She's not here right now" or "Karen". Slowly in my mind I thought it over and before I wanted to say anything, I looked at Karen but she wasn't looking at me or anyone else, Her had was bow down and she was looking at the grass. I guess it didn't really matter to her and it was like she already knew the answer to what I was going to say... So for the 1st time in my life, I risked it. It just came out. I said "I have a crush on Karen". The new kids were surprised but some of her school friends said, Don't we already know? Hahaha. Well it was a moment and before I knew it, it was gone. I still don't regret saying her name when I was given the chance. After a few spins, the bottle came on me and Karen by fate. But everyone was still arguing about the earlier spin that most of them didn't pay attention to the spindle bottle. But me and Karen both saw it and I am dam sure she saw it. Karen quickly took it off and gave it to someone to re-spin. At the moment, me and her wanted the same thing, not get a turn with each other but later that day I wished I got that turn...


So the game finished and people started going home but I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave just yet. Honestly, I didn't want to ever leave.


 Before people started leaving, Karen started opening presents and gave everyone who got her one, a hug. It was very sweet of her and it made me fall for her even more. Eventually it was me & my sisters turn and when she saw the present, she loved it!
(Later her mom even called my sister and told her, if only she got the shorts bigger, she could of wore them too! Hahaha) Well she gave my sister a hug and then she gave me one. My first hug since I got to know her 10 months ago! When she hugged me, the world around me slowely faded and I wished at that very spot that time would freeze forever. I wouldn't mind stay standing like that till the end. It was what I wanted and I couldn't actually believe I was hugging her! In reality, it laster around 5 sec but it was enough to warm my heart.

So people started leaving, we stayed till almost the last. After most of the kids went, we started playing all together with a beach ball, volleyball. It was quiet fun and we were all having fun for the time being. But before I knew it, it was almost 9 Pm and the party was supposed to end at 7 PM and it was time to go. Her little cousins came before we had to leave and we played with them a bit. They were really cute! So Karen took us out to the front door and said goodbye. I had a feeling it was my last goodbye...


From this whole day, I felt that even though I haven't seen Karen for a whole month, sadly, I still love her. I still love her with all my heart and seeing her again made me miss her even more. It was like I didn't even forget anything about her. I was still tangled in her roots of love.


I wish i could tell you how much I care but all I can do is sit and stare. I don't know how to explain this pain it's driving me crazy not being able to let it out I think I'll go insane. You are special to me in so many different ways I don't know exactly what sets you apart from the rest but you've stolen my heart straight from my chest. I'm trapped inside my love I never will be freed. Of the pain I always have. Of this aching, biting need. It hurts because I miss you and the pain will never cease. It'll never let me forget my love. Never give me peace I can't change the way I feel. I'll live with it instead I loved you then, I love you now. I'll love you when I'm dead.