Friday, January 17, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Looking back at the past, at the memories.
Memories in our hearts stab us like a knife. Part of us wishes they would go away but part of us doesn't want to forget.
There were days when I used to sit down and just think of the past, of the days that are no more. I sit back and I look through a memory book. A book that brought back both happy & sad moments to mind. When I look at my old pictures, all I can see is what I used to be but am no longer. I think: What I can see is what I am not. I feel like I'm in a world full of childhood memories and everything around me is constantly changing with the fear in me that I'll forget the the moments that took my breath away. Moments that go by so very fast and sometimes before we even realize it, they're gone forever.
Some memories bring back the sense of joy to our life. They remind us of how good things used to be. How happy life can be. But you see, moments such as these pass us by in a blink of an eye. And at the other side, some memories bring tears to our eyes. They remind us of the pain we felt deep in our chest, the people we have lost and the mistakes we have done.
A photograph is the pause button of life.
The truth is there's one thing I learned in life. It goes on with or without you.
There were days when I used to sit down and just think of the past, of the days that are no more. I sit back and I look through a memory book. A book that brought back both happy & sad moments to mind. When I look at my old pictures, all I can see is what I used to be but am no longer. I think: What I can see is what I am not. I feel like I'm in a world full of childhood memories and everything around me is constantly changing with the fear in me that I'll forget the the moments that took my breath away. Moments that go by so very fast and sometimes before we even realize it, they're gone forever.
Some memories bring back the sense of joy to our life. They remind us of how good things used to be. How happy life can be. But you see, moments such as these pass us by in a blink of an eye. And at the other side, some memories bring tears to our eyes. They remind us of the pain we felt deep in our chest, the people we have lost and the mistakes we have done.
A photograph is the pause button of life.
The truth is there's one thing I learned in life. It goes on with or without you.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
The Most Heart Touching Love Story You'll Ever Read
10th Grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th Grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior Year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th Grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior Year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Places I want to go to when I grow up.
I always thought about where I want to travel to when I grow up. Places I want to visit and try new things out. Things I haven't had a chance to try out yet. Since I was a young boy I made a list where I wanted to travel to and what I wanted to do when I reach those places. So I summed it up for y'all and hope you enjoy it! I know I will.
1-First of all; as soon as I get a chance, I'm so going Sky Diving first! It's always been a thrill to me to jump off a plane with a parachute. Interlaken, Switzerland: Okay so this isn't Mt. Everest but for god sake, these are the snow-capped Swiss Alps! No hefty down payment needed and under $400 (book online), this is one of the most popular spots for backpacker skydiving newbs(Like me). They'll hold your hand for no extra fee and while you won't find champagne upon landing, stay at Balmer's Herberge at the base of the Alps and they'll party your nerves back to normal
2- I'm planning on going on vacation to a few of places I had my mind set to you when I was a kid. I'm a huge beach fan so my heart will take me to those Baby Blue Beaches! Found some of the best beaches around the world and summed them all up for y'all. They're as following: Fiji, Bora Bora, Bahamas, Phi Phi, Bali and Hawaii. I'm planning on going to the Bahamas first on my honeymoon so I'll see the other's work out later in my life.
I did some calculation for nights staying at the places mentioned above. Prices include Great hotels($300-$1000 per night) Food/drink/activities, night life. Prices set for a week and for two people(couples). Not including air tickets because that varies for each country. Price are at the max so you could expect it to be a bit less if you decide spend less.
Bora Bora: Would take around 10k-18k for a couple to have a blast.
Bahamas: Everything included 3k-3.5k
Fiji: Around 3.5k-4.5k
Bali: 1.5k-2.5k
Phi Phi: Around $400-600 a trip to the island daily. Price excludes resort, food, transport, activities and night life.
Hawai: Roughly around 4k
Of course these prices will drop a few $100-$1000's if you decide to take a $50-$150 per night resort.
There's other places with also natural life not just beaches that interested me like The Maldives Islands and The Galapagos Islands.
Did you know that there are 700 type of animal species currently found at the Galapagos Islands? Ranging from penguins, Sea lions, Giant Turtles, Iguanas and even Blue Whales! An amazing place for animal lovers if you ask me.
3- One of my other dream places I hoping to go again to is Disney Land! Although I've been to disney land at Orlando, Florida when I was a child, I'm still planing on going again but this time with my own children if I some day have some. One of the most amazing places on earth for children is disney land and I want to give my children the same opportunity I got when I was a child.
Well there you have the top 3 places I want to visit someday. Hope you enjoyed reading about it hahaha.
1-First of all; as soon as I get a chance, I'm so going Sky Diving first! It's always been a thrill to me to jump off a plane with a parachute. Interlaken, Switzerland: Okay so this isn't Mt. Everest but for god sake, these are the snow-capped Swiss Alps! No hefty down payment needed and under $400 (book online), this is one of the most popular spots for backpacker skydiving newbs(Like me). They'll hold your hand for no extra fee and while you won't find champagne upon landing, stay at Balmer's Herberge at the base of the Alps and they'll party your nerves back to normal
2- I'm planning on going on vacation to a few of places I had my mind set to you when I was a kid. I'm a huge beach fan so my heart will take me to those Baby Blue Beaches! Found some of the best beaches around the world and summed them all up for y'all. They're as following: Fiji, Bora Bora, Bahamas, Phi Phi, Bali and Hawaii. I'm planning on going to the Bahamas first on my honeymoon so I'll see the other's work out later in my life.
I did some calculation for nights staying at the places mentioned above. Prices include Great hotels($300-$1000 per night) Food/drink/activities, night life. Prices set for a week and for two people(couples). Not including air tickets because that varies for each country. Price are at the max so you could expect it to be a bit less if you decide spend less.
Bora Bora: Would take around 10k-18k for a couple to have a blast.
Bahamas: Everything included 3k-3.5k
Fiji: Around 3.5k-4.5k
Bali: 1.5k-2.5k
Phi Phi: Around $400-600 a trip to the island daily. Price excludes resort, food, transport, activities and night life.
Hawai: Roughly around 4k
Of course these prices will drop a few $100-$1000's if you decide to take a $50-$150 per night resort.
There's other places with also natural life not just beaches that interested me like The Maldives Islands and The Galapagos Islands.
Did you know that there are 700 type of animal species currently found at the Galapagos Islands? Ranging from penguins, Sea lions, Giant Turtles, Iguanas and even Blue Whales! An amazing place for animal lovers if you ask me.
3- One of my other dream places I hoping to go again to is Disney Land! Although I've been to disney land at Orlando, Florida when I was a child, I'm still planing on going again but this time with my own children if I some day have some. One of the most amazing places on earth for children is disney land and I want to give my children the same opportunity I got when I was a child.
Did I forget to mention all the amazing amusement parks there!!?
Well there you have the top 3 places I want to visit someday. Hope you enjoyed reading about it hahaha.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Best Day of 2013
A few days ago was one of the happiest days in my life. It was my crush's Birthday. She did a pool party at her house and me & my sister, Farah, were invited. It was on June 30 Sunday. She told me about it around a week before and I was excited to go. I started planning out before a week what should I do if I go, Should I say anything? Should I show her that I still love her? or should I show her that I moved on? Those questions kept circling through my mind until before I knew it, it was Sunday. The party starts at 3:00 PM so me and my sister woke up and bought her some cloth. A nice short with a matching top. We got our relative to drive us to her house and even before we were dear, I was so nervous...
Once we got there, Karen came out and opened the door for us. She huged my sister and said Hey to me. So automatically I said hey back. After that short encounter, we went inside her house to the backyard where there were kids already around. We sat there with the other kids while Karen kept opening the door for the new guests. I was basically nervous the whole time but I just couldn't let my self show it. Most people that were there already knew I had a crush on Karen but what the hell, It really didn't matter to me...
So after everyone finally was here, Karen brought us some snacks and then she said it's swimming time. We all changed our clothes and jumped in the pool. The first few minutes it was awkward but then we started spraying each other water and the fun started. After a bit, Karen propesed we play the game where at one person gets on another and tries to push down another group of 2 that did the same. I over heard the girls telling Karen to go on top of me but she neglected and didn't want. Honestly I didn't want either because I don't know... So at the end of the argueing some other girl got on top of me and Karen on another guy and they started pushing each other hahaha. To my bad luck, Karen ended up winning againt us but it was all good. Atleast we had fun right?
So after a while, we all got out and washed off with our towels. In the mean time, Karen's mom brought food on a table and the cake :)
Karen's Birthday Cake <3 She was turning 15 (:
We all got around Karen and started singing her Happy Birthday :) To me, that was one of the most unforgettable moments in my life. I'll always remember seeing that smile across her face when everyone was singing and she was looking around all happy. All I could say is that, at that very moment, everything was PERFECT.
After we finished singing her Happy Birthday, we all sat down and ate cake & other desserts. I have to say it was a really delicious cake(: . So when we all finished eating, Karen told us to play Truth & Dare and we all went along with it since she was the Birthday Girl on that day. We all sat in a circle, girls on one side and guys on the other side. So the game started and as usual, the first questions in the game are always boring. Such as "What's your favorite color" or "What's your name". After a while the game started to spice up with questions like "Kiss all the guys on their cheeks" and "Dance on the table". Before I knew it, it was my turn! A girl asked me truth or dare so I went with the truth. She asked me "Who's your crush?"
*At that very moment, my heart skipped a beat. It was like time suddenly froze around me. I thought hard about what I had to say because this was the moment Karen would know if I still loved her or not... I had a few choices... Like... "I don't have a crush on anyone" - "She's not here right now" or "Karen". Slowly in my mind I thought it over and before I wanted to say anything, I looked at Karen but she wasn't looking at me or anyone else, Her had was bow down and she was looking at the grass. I guess it didn't really matter to her and it was like she already knew the answer to what I was going to say... So for the 1st time in my life, I risked it. It just came out. I said "I have a crush on Karen". The new kids were surprised but some of her school friends said, Don't we already know? Hahaha. Well it was a moment and before I knew it, it was gone. I still don't regret saying her name when I was given the chance. After a few spins, the bottle came on me and Karen by fate. But everyone was still arguing about the earlier spin that most of them didn't pay attention to the spindle bottle. But me and Karen both saw it and I am dam sure she saw it. Karen quickly took it off and gave it to someone to re-spin. At the moment, me and her wanted the same thing, not get a turn with each other but later that day I wished I got that turn...
So the game finished and people started going home but I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave just yet. Honestly, I didn't want to ever leave.
Before people started leaving, Karen started opening presents and gave everyone who got her one, a hug. It was very sweet of her and it made me fall for her even more. Eventually it was me & my sisters turn and when she saw the present, she loved it!
(Later her mom even called my sister and told her, if only she got the shorts bigger, she could of wore them too! Hahaha) Well she gave my sister a hug and then she gave me one. My first hug since I got to know her 10 months ago! When she hugged me, the world around me slowely faded and I wished at that very spot that time would freeze forever. I wouldn't mind stay standing like that till the end. It was what I wanted and I couldn't actually believe I was hugging her! In reality, it laster around 5 sec but it was enough to warm my heart.
So people started leaving, we stayed till almost the last. After most of the kids went, we started playing all together with a beach ball, volleyball. It was quiet fun and we were all having fun for the time being. But before I knew it, it was almost 9 Pm and the party was supposed to end at 7 PM and it was time to go. Her little cousins came before we had to leave and we played with them a bit. They were really cute! So Karen took us out to the front door and said goodbye. I had a feeling it was my last goodbye...
From this whole day, I felt that even though I haven't seen Karen for a whole month, sadly, I still love her. I still love her with all my heart and seeing her again made me miss her even more. It was like I didn't even forget anything about her. I was still tangled in her roots of love.
I
wish i could tell you how much I care but all I can do is sit and
stare. I don't know how to explain this pain it's driving me crazy not
being able to let it out I think I'll go insane. You are special to me
in so many different ways I don't know exactly what sets you apart from
the rest but you've stolen my heart straight from my chest. I'm trapped
inside my love I never will be freed. Of the pain I always have. Of this
aching, biting need. It hurts because I miss you and the pain will
never cease. It'll never let me forget my love. Never give me peace I
can't change the way I feel. I'll live with it instead I loved you then,
I love you now. I'll love you when I'm dead.
Once we got there, Karen came out and opened the door for us. She huged my sister and said Hey to me. So automatically I said hey back. After that short encounter, we went inside her house to the backyard where there were kids already around. We sat there with the other kids while Karen kept opening the door for the new guests. I was basically nervous the whole time but I just couldn't let my self show it. Most people that were there already knew I had a crush on Karen but what the hell, It really didn't matter to me...
So after everyone finally was here, Karen brought us some snacks and then she said it's swimming time. We all changed our clothes and jumped in the pool. The first few minutes it was awkward but then we started spraying each other water and the fun started. After a bit, Karen propesed we play the game where at one person gets on another and tries to push down another group of 2 that did the same. I over heard the girls telling Karen to go on top of me but she neglected and didn't want. Honestly I didn't want either because I don't know... So at the end of the argueing some other girl got on top of me and Karen on another guy and they started pushing each other hahaha. To my bad luck, Karen ended up winning againt us but it was all good. Atleast we had fun right?
So after a while, we all got out and washed off with our towels. In the mean time, Karen's mom brought food on a table and the cake :)
Karen's Birthday Cake <3 She was turning 15 (:
We all got around Karen and started singing her Happy Birthday :) To me, that was one of the most unforgettable moments in my life. I'll always remember seeing that smile across her face when everyone was singing and she was looking around all happy. All I could say is that, at that very moment, everything was PERFECT.
After we finished singing her Happy Birthday, we all sat down and ate cake & other desserts. I have to say it was a really delicious cake(: . So when we all finished eating, Karen told us to play Truth & Dare and we all went along with it since she was the Birthday Girl on that day. We all sat in a circle, girls on one side and guys on the other side. So the game started and as usual, the first questions in the game are always boring. Such as "What's your favorite color" or "What's your name". After a while the game started to spice up with questions like "Kiss all the guys on their cheeks" and "Dance on the table". Before I knew it, it was my turn! A girl asked me truth or dare so I went with the truth. She asked me "Who's your crush?"
*At that very moment, my heart skipped a beat. It was like time suddenly froze around me. I thought hard about what I had to say because this was the moment Karen would know if I still loved her or not... I had a few choices... Like... "I don't have a crush on anyone" - "She's not here right now" or "Karen". Slowly in my mind I thought it over and before I wanted to say anything, I looked at Karen but she wasn't looking at me or anyone else, Her had was bow down and she was looking at the grass. I guess it didn't really matter to her and it was like she already knew the answer to what I was going to say... So for the 1st time in my life, I risked it. It just came out. I said "I have a crush on Karen". The new kids were surprised but some of her school friends said, Don't we already know? Hahaha. Well it was a moment and before I knew it, it was gone. I still don't regret saying her name when I was given the chance. After a few spins, the bottle came on me and Karen by fate. But everyone was still arguing about the earlier spin that most of them didn't pay attention to the spindle bottle. But me and Karen both saw it and I am dam sure she saw it. Karen quickly took it off and gave it to someone to re-spin. At the moment, me and her wanted the same thing, not get a turn with each other but later that day I wished I got that turn...So the game finished and people started going home but I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave just yet. Honestly, I didn't want to ever leave.
Before people started leaving, Karen started opening presents and gave everyone who got her one, a hug. It was very sweet of her and it made me fall for her even more. Eventually it was me & my sisters turn and when she saw the present, she loved it!
(Later her mom even called my sister and told her, if only she got the shorts bigger, she could of wore them too! Hahaha) Well she gave my sister a hug and then she gave me one. My first hug since I got to know her 10 months ago! When she hugged me, the world around me slowely faded and I wished at that very spot that time would freeze forever. I wouldn't mind stay standing like that till the end. It was what I wanted and I couldn't actually believe I was hugging her! In reality, it laster around 5 sec but it was enough to warm my heart. 
So people started leaving, we stayed till almost the last. After most of the kids went, we started playing all together with a beach ball, volleyball. It was quiet fun and we were all having fun for the time being. But before I knew it, it was almost 9 Pm and the party was supposed to end at 7 PM and it was time to go. Her little cousins came before we had to leave and we played with them a bit. They were really cute! So Karen took us out to the front door and said goodbye. I had a feeling it was my last goodbye...
From this whole day, I felt that even though I haven't seen Karen for a whole month, sadly, I still love her. I still love her with all my heart and seeing her again made me miss her even more. It was like I didn't even forget anything about her. I was still tangled in her roots of love.
I
wish i could tell you how much I care but all I can do is sit and
stare. I don't know how to explain this pain it's driving me crazy not
being able to let it out I think I'll go insane. You are special to me
in so many different ways I don't know exactly what sets you apart from
the rest but you've stolen my heart straight from my chest. I'm trapped
inside my love I never will be freed. Of the pain I always have. Of this
aching, biting need. It hurts because I miss you and the pain will
never cease. It'll never let me forget my love. Never give me peace I
can't change the way I feel. I'll live with it instead I loved you then,
I love you now. I'll love you when I'm dead.Friday, June 14, 2013
Someday I'll leave and I won't ever come back
One day, I'm gonna wake up, pack up my bags and just go through that door. I'll leave this place for good and follow my dreams. For years I've hoped to leave this place behind, my old life behind and move go where my heart takes me. I feel misunderstood and judged here without escape for it only gets worse by the day. I don't belong here & I don't want to stay here. I'm sick and tired of living day by day with nothing to look forward too.
I wanna go to college and meet that one girl I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. The girl that's going to be the one I'll love till the very end. We'll study and graduate together. Get years to know each other before we take it to the next level and once we do, it'll be the most amazing part in my life apart from my childhood.
I can't wait for
the day that I get married. I will finally be able to spend the rest of
my life with the woman of my dreams, the love of my life. We'll be
happy. We'll have a fun, playful marriage. We'll raise our beautiful
children, we'll teach them right. I will always be there for my kids,
whenever they need me, daddy will be there. When summer comes, we'll go
on family vacations. I'll take everyone to disney land and take them to
nice places. I'll watch my kids grow up into fine adults and when they
leave to start their own lives, it'll just be me and her. We'll spend
the rest of our days living happily together, doing things we've always
wanted to do. Things like traveling the world, going on a cruise, and
anything else we can think of. Finally, when we grow old, we'll
reminisce about our lives. We'll talk about how we first met and all the
crazy things we used to do while young. Then when it's our time to
leave this world, the love me and her will share will never fade cause a
love like that, true love never fades.
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