Sunday, December 14, 2014

I Never Got The Chance To Tell Her I Loved Her

It was the first day of school. That was the first time I saw her. An angel sent from heaven in my eyes. And at that very moment I knew she was going to be the one I was waiting for. In a way, it was as love at first sight.
As time passed by, we became friends. We started talking and hanging out and before I knew it, I was falling for her more and more each day. But I knew, I knew from the start that I was falling in love with her and I didn't know why. I knew I wanted her but I wasn't sure if she wanted me.
I've always been shy towards girls I had a crush on. And in a way, my shyness was an obstacle to me in my life and once again I was proved right. I loved her more than the stars loved to shine in the dazzling nights. But I was afraid. I was scared to tell her how I felt. Maybe it was the fear of rejection or maybe I was afraid I'd lose her as a friend once she found out. It was a risk not worth taking at the time.
 I kept it all to myself. I buried my feelings towards her deep inside me and not to a single soul I would show my true feelings. For I knew that time would catch up to me sooner or later and one day I'll wake up and she won't be there anymore. I wanted to tell her but I didn't know why I couldn't...
Before I knew it months flew by and she was packing her bags to move away. She was traveling half a world away and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. The day I wished every night never to come has finally arrived.

Before she left, she came up to me and told me I was best friend she ever had. She looked me straight in the eyes for a brief moment like she knew I was dying on the inside just burning up to tell her something but it wouldn't just come out. She gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. As she wrapped her arms around me I wished time would simply stop. I wouldn't mind being stuck like that forever.
But time catches up to us eventually and after a split second, the moment was gone. She windrowed herself from me to a mere distance, looked me in the eyes and said this was goodbye. I wanted to grab her hand and pull her back to me but I just couldn't move. She turned around and started walking away slowly and with each step she took, the more pain I felt in my heart.

The truth is, in the end nothing matters. It's what you did before you reached the end that matters. - Mahmoud El Hallab
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